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Thanks for your concern guys c': I'm better now.

I don't want misunderstandings so I'll explain a bit better what happened to me.

I won't give names, they haven't any fault of my personality... if I can't handle it, I just take my time to calm down myself.

Alone, probably I shouldn't take all the burden alone but it's mine after all and I'm the only one who can overcome it.

I don't blame any of my friends, I don't hate them, they didn't hurt me.
Sometimes I hate being like this, when I'm irritated things can get me really easily and in that moment, I try to avoid contact with those who mean a lot to me because I know that my instinct wants me to warm them...or get a fight with them.

I don't enjoy that, I hate that...I somehow feel related to Vanitas when things like this happens, and I hate myself for being like this.

I'm not a wonderful person, nice or a good friend when I'm like this...yeah, it's part of myself and I accept it, even if I don't like it, I'm still me.

It's like sometimes I try to deny it, I feel weak, worthless, useless, I hate, I hate, I hate it.

in that aspect I'm like Vani lol...but i never show it.

So this is why sometimes I feel so irritated, holding my tears, and just let my pride protect me from all those emotions.

yeah, I shouldn't. I know it. I know I'm not alone, I have my dearest closest friends, my wonderful family and friends on dA, every watcher is dear to me, I really care for everyone here.

Thanks to everyone.
and I'm sorry for those that probably I made feel bad these days...or yesterday, I'm really sorry.